To say goodbye, is to die a little

This post is coming incredibly late. During my last week of school, we had a flurry of events and happenings that distracted from updating this blog including our school (along with all schools in my town) celebrating Asahna Bucha Day (It's known as Monk Holiday according to my host brother's laconic statements). I couldn't really teach that day because we had to start the ceremony earlier in the day. Before the temple walking ceremony, my students, administrators, and co-teachers had a "goodbye treatment" for my leaving Phichit. As soon as they began, my tears instantly began to somersault down my cheeks. My students from each grade began to individually hand me "Thank You" cards. I'm so grateful for their presence in my life. They've continued to encourage me and push me for a deeper understanding on issues of educational equality, comprehension and closing the opportunity gap when it comes to these issues.


My parting has been such sorrow. It feels like I began to leave just when everyone began to be get comfortable. For me, my desire to leave Thailand came around a month into teaching. I wasn't missing home, I wasn't uncomfortable, I just felt like I had gotten "enough" out of this experience. But 2 weeks later, the longing to leave had dissipated and I was ready to fully immerse and engage into teaching. Now a full two months later, I have a feeling of such bittersweet sorrow. I'm leaving with so many questions about impact, goals, achievements and purpose, while here. I hope I have time to evaluate these questions as I transition back home. There are moments when I wonder if my leaving was more potent in their minds than my time actually spent in the classroom.

These were completely unexpected.
I honestly didn't know how I was going to pack all of these into my already tiny suitcase.

These past few months has been the best time of my life. And I hope that if anything, my students will remember the joy they felt during our engaging English conversations. I hope that they will feel even more inspired to learn this language and maximize on their individual potential as they grow into future leaders, workers, and inspirations.

Khob Kun ka,
Kruu Sade